Of Idiots and Surgeons
by TheRealEvanSG
Summary: Lucy, female Luffy, forces a certain Surgeon of Death to play tag with her, Usopp, and Chopper. Sanji is furious, and Law is unamused. One-Shot. Check out my other stories, too! :) Rated K for Tra-guy and Sanji's mouth. Fem!Luffy/Law nakamaship.


**Summary: **Lucy, Fem!Luffy, forces a certain Surgeon of Death to play tag with her, Usopp and Chopper. Sanji is furious, and Law is unamused.

**One-Shot Start!**

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><p><span>Of Idiots and Surgeons<span>

Monkey D. Lucy, known by her enemies as 'Straw Hat' Lucy, was up to her usual antics.

She had a 400,000,000 belli bounty and was currently one of the most wanted pirates, since she'd almost saved her sister, Portgas D. Anne, from execution, and also because she had escaped from what had previously thought to be a totally inescapable prison: Impel Down. When it had met Lucy, however, a mass breakout of pretty much every prisoner shook the jail's foundations and reputation.

And yet, despite this fact, she still played tag.

"You're it, Usopp!" Lucy giggled, retracting her arm.

The long-nosed sniper glared at her. "I said you can't use your Devil Fruit powers, Luce!"

"Eh? But you're too fast otherwise..."

"YOU RAN SO HARD YOU SET THE FLOOR ON FIRE IN PUNK HAZARD! DON'T GIVE ME THAT!"

She dashed away from his angry groping. "But that was necessary. I had to beat that clown dude's ass!"

"I'm not a clown!" the scientist in question barked, still chained up and sitting with a melancholic expression near the door to the boy's cabin. "That's my name, baka! Caesar Clown!" His white coat hung on him like it was made out of fluffy clouds. Caesar glared at the girl with enough hatred to freeze a werewolf in its tracks.

"Ya look like a clown to me~!" she sang, clambering up the main mast. Her precious straw hat was perched on her head, a crown on a king - - or in this case, queen. It had survived for more then fifty long years, and had spent twenty of those on the unkempt mess of hair it sat on now. Her red vest was left open shamelessly for all the world to see her very noticeable chest, which was hidden behind an orange bra that was as elastic as its wearer. At first glance, an onlooker would've thought her to be very beautiful; upon closer inspection, he or she would've realized that Lucy's smooth, tan skin was riddled with scars, two of the most prominent cutting under her left eye in a curve and across her chest in an ugly red X.

An enraged Usopp followed suit, while down below, sitting on the bench around it, Law watched through half-lidded eyes.

"Save your energy for Dressrosa, Straw Hat-ya," the Shichibukai advised.

Lucy leaped down to the grass deck of the Thousand Sunny, her rubbery legs absorbing the shock of such a large jump and not even fazing her. "Eh? Meanie..." She almost ran away again since Usopp was scooting down the mast again, but Law could practically see a lightbulb go off over her head. A strange, almost feral grin spread out on her lips. "Oi, Tra-guy," the large-breasted woman said, "you should join in!"

The sniper above him froze momentarily. "Ne, that's a good idea! You're always so tense, Law! Loosen up and join us!"

The user of the Op-Op Fruit's eye twitched. "No thank you," he deadpanned.

The female pirate captain and her loyal subordinate looked at each other and frowned. The Surgeon gawked at them. They appeared to be talking with their eyes alone - - no doubt plotting something to get him involved in their childish game.

Then the moment was over.

"Too late~!" Lucy called, and Usopp was suddenly tapping him on the shoulder. "You're it!"

Before the man knew it, his main weapon, the sword that he performed all of his operations with, was missing, now in the liar's possession. Rage filled the Surgeon of Death, and before he knew it, he was chasing after the idiots as fast as he possibly could.

"Nice one, Usopp!" the other captain chortled.

Law growled in anger. "Give me back my sword!"

"Nope!" Usopp said, running faster due to Law's wrath. "Not until you play tag with us~!"

"Law's playing tag?" the reindeer doctor of the Straw Hats, Tony Tony Chopper, asked, peeking out of his personal office. On either side of his abnormal blue nose, his eyes sparkled. "I wanna play too!"

Franky, who was busy steering the Sunny, guffawed at the man's obvious discomfort. "This should be SUPER interesting!"

"Those morons," Nami, the navigator, sighed. She was suntanning on a lawn chair with the archaeologist, Nico Robin, who just giggled. Lucy must have rubbed off on her.

"Oi, bastard surgeon!" Sanji barked from the kitchen. "Don't you dare hurt my wonderful Lucy-sama or I'll kick your ass!"

And thus, he found himself pulled into the Idiot Trio's daily antics.


End file.
